Rot in Relationships: Pollution with a difference

By. Dr. Jyoti  Patil

Recently in the newspaper we read that in a spine-chilling incident a youth has killed his younger brother and buried him in his house and in another bloodcurdling incident a Govt. Press worker was axed by his second wife as he tried to kill his stepson under the influence of liquor. Such increasing incidents remind us of rot in relationships where warmth and intimacy in relationships are disappearing and violence, treachery and intolerance are spreading very fast.  

Pollution in Relationship:

Now-a-days we quite often talk about environmental pollution which has become an alarming threat to human life. In environmental pollution we seriously consider air pollution, water pollution, soil pollution and noise pollution. Let us consider another pollution which is perhaps the crux of modern human life. That is the pollution in human relationships. The world has become a global village and we have involved ourselves in the rat race of getting so many things in the shortest possible time. We sometimes get those desirable things but those material achievements don’t give us our heart’s contentment. On the contrary they make us realize one day about the void we have created for ourselves by distancing our family members, our relatives and our friends who in reality make our life worth living.

But in human relations we see today that the father rapes the daughter, the son kills the mother, and the husband sells his wife and keeps an extra marital relation. The pollution level in relationship has reached to the filthiest low, as it is fashionable today to have many girl/boy friends and having intimate relations before marriage is something necessarily required to maintain the friendship and a professional need to keep the position. Recently I watched a television programme in which it was revealed that how a busy Japanese man today can lead a lonely life. Thanks to the Japanese love dolls. This shows the pollution level has acquired dangerous proportions and immediate measures should be taken to eradicate the pollution in relationship.

Live-in Relationship: 

The pollution in relationship begins with the thought of futility of marriage. There are quite a good number of people who think that marriage is a burden and in today’s fast life it is conveniently avoidable. They have the option of live-in relationship, companionship or leading a stag life. Thanks to our Government who is thinking to legalize this relationship in the name of protection of woman’s rights. Live-in relationship is entirely based on shrugging off the responsibilities of maintaining a family and taking care of children. On one hand you want to enjoy the bliss of conjugal life but on the other you don’t want to share the responsibilities appended to it. Two persons living together without the license of marriage is a concept which is absolutely contrary to our Indian philosophy and religious norms as marriage makes a man complete in all respects and a responsible citizen. 

Companionship:

Again to escape the responsibility of marriage, that means maintaining a family the concept of companionship has sprung up in the polluted minds of modern metros. To live a life in isolation is in itself a bitter punishment which can only be understood by them who are really all alone and no one to care for them. Indian social life is woven around family members, relatives and friends. But this relationship only indicates that man-woman relationship is the only relation they want to continue and all other relations are just unnecessary and unwanted. It is true that for some time it looks a wonderful concept but at the end such pollution in relationship leads to only one direction i.e. frustration and futility. The lasting love, warmth and emotional security can only be possible in purity of life. Wrong paths will definitely lead you to wrong goals.

DINK (Double Income, No Kids): 

In metro cities life is so fast and the competition so tough that the youth of today find a life partner from the same profession and both of them work round the clock to maintain a good standard of life. They seem to be so busy in their professional life that they can not think of sparing time for children. As they need to take a long leave for raising a family and perhaps that may hamper their prospects of promotion in the office, they prefer not to have kids (but let me admit that kids are the ultimate source of immense and heavenly happiness for both). The challenges in jobs are so tough these days that even after marriage you don’t have time to understand your life partner as you spend most of the time with some other people. Your life becomes machine-like and you don’t find any solace from your life even when you have chosen your life partner. 

Gay Relationship:

This is a new kind of pollution in relationship. Earlier this kind of relationship was tabooed and considered as a crime against nature. Psychologically it is an outcome of a perverted mind and unnatural upbringing. It is an immoral adventurism of mentally sick persons of the same sex (males). These people need psychological counseling and not legal approval to get married as in some countries gay relationship has been legalized and now they can be man and wife, oh no! Man and man, oh! I am confused. The recent film ‘Dostana’ also reveals some funny sides of this relationship. One Dr. Babu Thomas has rightly suggested in one of the leading newspapers of the city that tomorrow who knows the same people may ask for legal sanction to have relationship (sexual!) with selected animals. Oh God! Lead us to right path.

Lesbian Relationship:

Since ages perhaps this kind of relationship has been reported, but this does not mean that pollution of this kind can be promoted to pure and clean relationship. Again this is something very extraordinary and against the nature’s law which can only lead to filthy darkness of relationship. A woman having any relationship with another woman as shown in some bold Hindi movies like ‘Fire’ is highly unacceptable to any civilized society. If this happens their adjustment with the society is very difficult which can only lead to more complications and further pollution in relationship.

Partner Swapping:

Exploitation of delicate relationship is something which is really alarming. Now when we talk of partner swapping, I am reminded of a film ‘Lajja’ in which the husband seems to be so Westernized that he does not see anything wrong in sending his wife to somebody else to please that person to get professional favour. It is again acutely alarming if such concept has crept in Indian middle class, family loving people. In clubs and late night parties married couples exchange their partners by exchanging their car-keys or by some other means. It is something which is a grave threat to the basic texture of family life and values. Here the pollution level has gone so high that if proper attention is not given, life in general will become a burden and the end of true human relationship is certain. There will be more cases of suicide, murder and family violence and more problems of depression, stress, sleeplessness and mental ailments like phobia, schizophrenia, epilepsy, hysteria, etc. We must make ourselves aware and act immediately to stem this dangerous rot.

(Appeared in Dainik Bhaskar on 13th Dec. 2008)