Guidelines for Happiness 

By Dr. Jyoti Patil

“Happiness is but an occasional episode in the general drama of pain” says Thomas Hardy, a famous English novelist who immortalized Tess in one of his Sussex novels, who suffered immeasurably as the President of Immortals has planted only sufferings in her life. Happiness in Tess’s life was a distant dream. She wanted to be happy but happiness eluded her all her life and at the end of the novel she was caught by the police for murdering Alec D’Urbervilles, the villain who had seduced her. Sometimes life is really grim and full of throes only. But it is not always so, for some people life is a dream, a really sweet dream. All ideal conditions are provided to them and they have all the luxuries of life. They enjoy life to the fullest but happiness sometimes eludes them the moment they come back to ground reality. 

Happiness is a prized feeling in human life. As our life is full of twists and turns, it brings many surprises that sometimes makes us sad and sometimes makes us happy. But it is also true that happiness and sadness are quite often individualized and their parameters differ from person to person. What is sad for one person may be a source of extreme joy for some other person.  

 I have seen a boy of my neighbourhood being very sad on the declaration of HSSC results. He was sad to the extent that for a week he did not talk to anybody. The reason was that he could not secure 95% as expected by him and only had to be satisfied with 91% of marks. On the other hand, his friend who only managed to secure 65% of marks was extremely happy and distributed sweets amongst his friends as he had never expected such high percentage. It shows that it quite often depends on your temperament whether a particular thing gives you happiness or sadness.  Happiness is nothing but a feel of refreshing relaxation and a light mood.

It is an oft-repeated cliché that happiness comes from within but the more you chase it the more elusive it becomes. Of course, we all want to become happy in life and try to seek it from various ways. Generally speaking we feel we could be happier, if we have more money, more opportunities and more beautiful looks. We always want to be happy but hardly experience happiness when we are closer to it. When we choose to be happy and try to seek it in the smallest and insignificant events, we are really happy - be it meeting someone on the way, a child’s pranks, a group of giggling youngsters, light-hearted moments, some refreshing news or remembering some fond memories. 

I have seen people go for luxurious vacations to enjoy life to the fullest but when they come back you may find them in the same foul mood. Outer things give you transitory pleasure and not heart’s contentment. Heart’s contentment only lies in making others happy when you really want to be happy.

Happiness should not be mistaken for pleasure. Pleasure is very transitory in nature and stay with you till that event provides you the feeling. Just as you get a very expensive and nice gift from some unexpected quarters, but when the gift is lost or damaged the next moment, you feel a great disappointment and happiness vaporizes immediately.  

Making others happy is the best way of lasting and true happiness which is of permanent nature and can be called contentment or mental satisfaction. Make somebody happy around you; bring a smile on somebody’s face by helping him/her. The secret of real happiness lies in making the atmosphere around you joyous and jocund by making others happy.

Keep smiling, keep showing kindness, keep neglecting minor setbacks, keep adjusting with what you have and keep forgiving others’ mistakes are some guidelines for happy life. It is rightly sung by Jalia Carney: ‘Little deeds of kindness, little drops of love, Help to make the earth happy, like the Heaven above.’     

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(Article for Middle Space, published on Sunday12th Oct ’08)