How relevant are Kitty Parties?

Recently in a television reality show "Kya aap paanchvi paas se tej hai?" anchored by Shahrukh Khan, one contestant Sweety Sethi was recognized by some ladies of Amritsar as a swindler of their kitty party collections which was amazingly 1.5 crore rupees. It was alleged that this lady had collected regular monthly sum from the members and promised them to give a hefty sum after 35 months but before the last few months she simply disappeared from the city duping them of their collections. This episode is a reminder of how ladies are gullible to such tricks so easily. In kitty party ladies generally contribute a small sum each month and through lucky draw one of them gets the full collection to utilize it for some urgent requirements.

Some times back a weekly soap which was aired from Sunday to Wednesday at 10.30 pm, canned few theme parties like kids party, where the protagonist dressed as and behaved like kids, Hawaiian party, Lavani party, where the leading ladies dressed up in nine yard sarees. The women of this "Kitty Party" discuss the issues in their lives and revel in the camaraderie. An integral part of the show, in a theme party, a dress code is decided by the lady who organizes the kitty party and all members have to dress up and join in for the party. This serial revolves around the lives of eight women from different backgrounds and age groups who meet every month for their kitty party. Each of the women in the kitty party has her own individual characteristic and personality. The story revolves around their respective families and their interaction with each other. The serial explores their individual lives, problems, hopes, disappointments, aspirations, longings, and the different shades of character each one has.

What is a Kitty Party?
In Indian perspective, life is enjoyed to the full when you have your friends and relatives around and you have intimate, tension-free moments with them. Generally men folk are busy in their office work the whole day and women at home after finishing their daily chores get some free time but they don’t get much time to meet and communicate with their neighbours or friends. Here kitty party comes to their rescue and provide them with joyous moments with their likable group. Moreover, kitty party gives an opportunity to collect some small amount of money in a way of monthly contribution of some meagre sum which can be very handy sometimes to meet with their urgent needs. This contribution may vary from Rs. 50/- to 5000/-.

Kitty party or ‘Bissi’ as popularly known in Indian middle class circles is a willing informal party of ladies where chits are arranged. In this chit system a fixed amount is collected from the members of the group and one of them gets to collect the entire amount by lucky draw. This is only one task of a kitty party. The real aim behind this is a whole hearted get together to exchange their views on some common related topics. The topic may be children and their education, husbands and their relations or for professional groups some office related topics. Moreover they have nice eatables to relish and new dishes to learn apart from fun games to relax them from their routine work. Thus, it becomes a good means of developing social and intimate relations with their likable group which is a prerogative of a healthy community life.

High class society kitty party
In a high class society kitty party is thought to be the time to showcase their newly bought designer dresses, sarees, jewellery and sometimes home appliances for the women members. But it not true for all high class groups. Now the ladies of this elite group is also utilizing this get together for some philanthropic activities such as collecting old clothes, medicines and some useful tips for poor strata of society and arranging camps to motivate women to become economically self-reliant. In this way these ladies can spend their time fruitfully, enjoying a party on one hand and doing something for the society on the other.

Middle class society kitty party
In middle and higher middle class societies, kitty party is arranged with different aims by different groups. Sometimes the group comprises of ladies of all age groups of the same neighbourhood or colony. Sometimes working women of the same profession meet in this way monthly to discuss various related issues and exchange ideas. Sometimes it is a young group of ladies of having similar areas of interest. Apart from all this the monthly collection is a big attraction for the ladies of middle class families as they keep their priority list to purchase something required by them when they get the lucky draw amount.

Lower income group kitty party
This social cum cultural activity is also very popular in lower income group families. Here it is popularly known as ‘Bissi’ where at least 20 to 50 women members of the neighbourhood join to contribute a small amount from Rs. 50/- to 500/- and collect a respectable sum to meet at least one member’s need per month. In this way they save some amount out of their tight budget. Here this party is more need-based rather than fun or info-based. This has become a colourful part of Indian life where disco-parties and rave parties have no place to stay and corrode the texture of our culture.

Sharing views on kitty parties
Deepa Lalwani, General Secretary, Sindhudi Sakhi Munch, while sharing her views becomes emotional about her kitty party group. She joined her kitty party some 24 years back when she came to Nagpur after her marriage as a young bride. Since then she has been enjoying the company of her close knit group. They meet every first Saturday in a month in the evening when their husbands and children are not at home. They involve themselves in social interaction with some mind refreshing games like puzzles, memory retention, one minute tasks and rapid round questions from day to day life apart from regular housie game. They contribute Re. 500/- every month and the collected amount is given by lucky draw or sometimes to a needy member of the group. Deepa feels that it is really useful for them as it re-energizes them and gives them a new perspective of life each time. Moreover you get an opportunity to eat homemade tasty and variety of mouthwatering dishes.

"To make life worth living and enjoyable is everyone’s desire and why womenfolk should be far behind when menfolk have all the fun and busy schedule outside?" chirped Sujata Chakravorty, Lecturer in a reputed girls’ college. Apart from her busy schedule she feels that kitty party is a welcome relief from an otherwise monotonous and tedious routine. In her group most of them are from teaching profession and share similar problems. In kitty party they discuss their common problems and find amicable solutions. She opined that it is a welcome change where one gets time to unwind and open up one’s mind freely. Her mother-in-law also attends the same party and some times they share some frisky jokes just like young friends and it is quite relieving. They attend their kitty party every second Saturday at the place of lucky draw winner of last kitty party at around 4.30 pm when they are free from their household obligations. They come to share new ideas, new trends, studies of their children and new solutions. She feels that holding a party at your place is also a great fun and adventure when you decide the recipe, games and gifts for the party and try to make it full of fun and frolic.

Dr. Uma Tripathi attends a kitty party of her flat scheme members where they discuss their problems of water supply, electricity, parking and other flat related issues. They try to find workable and agreeable solutions to difficult household issues. She says that it is a good opportunity to meet the neighbours of your vicinity whom you cannot meet at all during weekdays due to tight schedule. It is a nice get together and relaxation from daily routine. New recipes are discussed and new games are played which prove to be great stress busters. They meet last Saturday of every month to contribute Rs.1200/- each in the late afternoon. It used to be a small festive time for ladies of the vicinity to discuss various issues of common interest.

Kitty Party is one of the remaining social activities in today’s busy world which provides a healthy social interaction and social indulgence to the ladies of all groups to utilize their time fruitfully. In the flood of momentous cultural metamorphosis where disco parties, rave parties, cocktail parties, and night parties are in rampant and corroding our cultural consciousness, it is a great relief to see that kitty party is setting a healthy example of community life in our society.

Organising a Kitty Party?

If you are organizing a kitty party, take care to follow some tips:

• Since kitty parties are mostly an informal get together, make it more homely rather than making it artificially formal by arranging the party room with cozy seating arrangement.
• Welcome all the members with a happy wholehearted hug or by shaking hands. Make them comfortable in the party room. Talk to them individually for a few moments about their wellbeing and family.
• Don’t exert too much for preparing time consuming dishes. Prefer tasty but easy to cook n’ serve dishes. Do all the preparations well in advance so that on the party day you feel relaxed and free to talk to all the members individually.
• Don’t give undue importance to some particular member otherwise other members might feel ignored. Each member in the party is equally important and should be given equal importance.
• Arrange lighthearted and full of fun games where more members are involved and others who are watching can also enjoy it by encouraging them.
• Take the consent of all the members for newly introduced things and ideas. Lucky draw should be purely done by members other than the host.
• See that your game prizes are utility items and handy. In Housie games new special prizes can be announced for a member who has not won any prize in the party.
• While concluding the party extend your wholehearted thanks to each member for their fruitful contribution to the party and spending nice time with you.
  Some fun games
  TOUCH N’ TELL:
  In this game fill a pillowcase with number of household items and bring that before the members to touch and feel the items and recognize them. Give a piece of paper and pencil to each member. Give each member thirty seconds to feel the contents of the pillowcase through the fabric. Then tell them to jot down the names of the items. You can make each member to read the list aloud to have more fun. Prize will be given to the member with most correct guesses.
  APPLE ON THE HEAD:
  Make pairs by distributing two similar chits with pictures of some animals or flowers on it. Distribute the chits and call for pairs with similar pictures. When pairs are formed call one pair to keep an apple between their foreheads and then give instruction like "Three steps to the left", One step to the right", "squat", "Move around from the left" etc. If the apple is dropped in following the instruction, the pair is out.
  PICKING PEANUTS:
  This game is quite easy to arrange but a bit difficult for the players. Take a thaali or a dinner plate, put some peanuts on it and give two pencils to pick peanuts from the thaali and keep in a bowl. Give one minute to pick and highest picker will win the prize.
  PUBLISHED ON 26TH JULY 2008 IN DAINIK BHASKAR ‘IMPRESSIONS’