Expectations and Disappointments                                      Jyoti Patil

Appeared in the Hiravada Middle Space on 13^th March 2015

It is all about expectations and disappointments. It is said expectation leads to disappointment.  Our life is a pendulum between unfulfilled expectations and expected disappointments. In our tangled and twisted passage of life we expect many things from many  people. Sometimes these expectations take quirky turns.

When I came across a write up by Dipankar Shome about ‘expectations’ in The Hitavada, my memory took me to the time zone where I see everyone expecting something from the other without even giving a shred of consideration to one’s own responsibilities. Expectation is the root cause of all the heartaches. It is so natural to expect, but not so natural to disappoint others.

The boss expects all his juniors to perform all their duties sincerely. He also expects that they should wish him on his birthday, his wedding anniversary, his family members’ birthdays and special days.  He also looks forward to receive gifts on festive occasions. He also expects them to perform all his orders without asking any questions. The list of expectations is endless. This is like “love me and love my dog”.

And when these expectations are breached or broken, the real colour of the boss is out in the open. The weapon of strictures and restrictions are let loose.  When the boss expects from his juniors, they also expect something from him. A lenient handling, cooperative dealing, considerate treatment, caring and positive attitude are such expectations.

It is not only in official matter, but also outside on the road we expect fair riding from all others who are using road while we drive. Truck drivers expect all small vehicle drivers to give free pass to these big road users. Car drivers want clear road for speedy drive. Four wheeler riders expect two wheelers to follow traffic rules and use only the left side of the road. Bike riders want zigzag pleasure ride and expect all others to watch their acrobatic rides. Pedestrians know expecting any discipline from anyone will be just waste of time and they use their own whims to cross the road by following this line, ‘Grab the first opportunity you get’.  

Above all, we all expect everyone else to follow all the rules and regulations dutifully without realising our own responsibilities and duties. We expect God to grant all our prayers. We expect all the trains to run on time when we travel. We expect all our relatives to behave properly and give due respect to us.

             We also expect the politicians to do all public work as our personal servants, we also expect NMC to keep the city clean whereas we spit and throw garbage all around wherever we feel free. We expect public servants to be corruption free while we transact any business only when we accept ‘favours’ for doing any slightest work for others. Accepting ‘favours’ is something above any rule of law, this expectation is deep rooted in our psyche, some openly accept it and some expect others to do this for them.

It is rightly said, ‘Don’t blame people for disappointing you, blame yourself for expecting too much from them.’