Friendship Indeed…

(Published on 5^th Aug ’08 in The Hitavada, Middle Space))

‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’ goes the commonly accepted saying about friendship which implies that a true friend is he who comes to your rescue when you are in some dire need. Friendship, in true sense of the term, is a relation without any expectation from either side and purely a bond of two hearts in which loss and profit are never calculated. It is also not gender or age based. An old man may have a child as his true friend and a rich man may have a poor friend. Friendship is never made on any precondition. It is spontaneous and involuntary. Somebody becomes your friend because your tuning with that person matches without any additional efforts. If any additional effort is made to establish any friendship it will never last and it will be artificial.

Now a days we can see friends of various kinds like ‘bosom’ friend, ‘fast’ friend, ‘just’ friend, ’girl’ friend, ‘boy’ friend ‘business’ friend etc. But in today’s time when all blood relations and human ties are fading and warmth and intimacy are being evaporated, it is difficult to maintain a true friendship. Moreover we are becoming extra practical in our approach to life by calculating whether the relationship is beneficial for us or not. If we go on calculating things like this it is possible that in near future true friendship will be an extinct entity. Those who enjoy such friendship only know the immense emotional satisfaction and support they get from it.

Friendship with some selfish desire may end up with a bitter note and haunt both friends with nightmarish anguish. A true friend is he who maintains to enjoy your love and confidence without expecting anything in return. A true friend is he with whom you want to share all your emotions and feelings without any inhibitions or artificiality. You behave with your friend the way what you really are. You share with your friend any thing what comes into your mind. You call him at any odd time for help or for any venture and he comes without asking the reason.

Friendship gives a real meaning to your life as it is also said ‘a man is known by the company he keeps’. A friendship can not be compared with love-affairs as it is always done, for in the latter case an emotional attachment goes too far and sometimes when the expectations are high from both sides it turns out to be bitter. There are plenty of chances for such contractual friendship to fall apart but true friendship is not a contract on terms and conditions but it is purely accidental and involuntary.

There are many advantages of true friendship. A person can open out his heart to his friend, and in this way get emotional relief and comfort by sharing his worries and troubles, his joys and sorrows. It lightens his heart and relieves him from the burden of stress and strain. A person who is not blessed with such friendship suffers from innumerable diseases and mental disorders. History is full of such examples of kings who went mad because they had no friends to share their joys and sorrows. Another fruit of friendship is that a true friend illuminates the mind and removes confusion and obscurity of thought through discussion.

A true friend is a great blessing not only for the intellect but also for the emotions. Sometimes he criticises you bitterly for your wrong doing or wrong decisions. But that bitterness is like a bitter pill to correct you and save you from greater danger. Only a true friend can give sincere advice as your own judgment may be prejudiced. The advice of a friend is impersonal and unprejudiced for the improvement of your manners and morals. He helps you to be conscious of your own short-comings and makes it possible for you to improve yourself.

Getting true friend in life is also very difficult. If you have any such friend, preserve your friendship at any cost because if you lose him it will be difficult to get such friendship and your next search may end up in futility. You should keep in mind that one who has no true friend is as lonely in a crowded city as one is in a desert.